The following post is inspired by a small bit done by comedian Jim Jeffries in his special called ‘Freedumb’. 

A few days ago I wrote a post about why Atheists need to stop behaving like the dickheads that they are. And I thought, that’s not fair to the others. Those others being agnostics and the crazy religious folk. Seeing as I keep talking smack about religion constantly, I don’t need to dedicate another post to them. So I thought I’ll write a post about the most annoying fuckers of the lot, agnostics. 

These guys are the worst. Okay, I understand that it’s convenient to be an agnostic. Nobody shits on you for your opinions. You get to play both sides. Nobody thinks you’re crazy when it comes to religious beliefs. That’s a luxury that Atheists and believers don’t get. Believers want to stab Atheists with whatever medieval weapon is appropriate for their religion. And Atheists also want to stab religious people but they’re nicer in comparison so they stick to calling them assholes on the internet (which is basically me). 

But what really bothers me is why aren’t we collectively hating on these agnostics? Why the fuck do they get a free ride on the opinion train? They’re the indicisive assholes who can’t make up their minds about this shit. A lot of people think that the world would be a better place without religion and it’s followers. Which is not entirely true. Because if religion goes away, then the people who want to control other people will just find a new concept. So religious assholes are here to stay, one way or another. The agnostics are the real issue. 

If agnostics would just decide, once and for all, the side they’re on, the world would be a much better place. Things would be divided easily. Then the world would be divided between believers and non believers. And that’s good. Because things would be sorted out much easier. So if you’re an agnostic, please, pick a fucking side. If you don’t want to, please just stay out of religion based discussions. 

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