Things are pretty pointless. Everyone knows that. Everyone has an existential crisis from time to time. And it’s important I guess. At some point we start to take ourselves to seriously. Worse, we start taking the world too seriously. Then we have a nice, big, ice cream fueled existential crisis which kicks all the self importance out of our collective asshole. And that feels good. It’s like taking a giant shit after a whole day. 

Anyway, why do we care about stupid shit so much? Even something like a Presidential Election. I mean, I know our little world is very precious but why do we give so much of a shit? Because when you really think about it, we’re all just constantly working towards having a comfortable death. It’s true. In fact, the worst possible fate someone can have is an uncomfortable death. That’s it. If you ask me, that isn’t so bad considering it’s the worst case scenario. 

This is why I’ve stopped arguing the concept of suicide. I mean, I won’t tell anyone to kill themselves. I won’t kill myself either, I’m just having too much fun. But I understand why someone would want to kill themselves. Because no happy person will kill her/himself, right? Shit just be pretty bad if they’re doing that. And I think the rest of us who’re having a good time are just assholes to tell these people to stay positive. That’s like rubbing our wholesome lives where we’re able to deal with problems in their sad faces. That’s just mean. Next time you see someone who wants to kill themself, tell them that life doesn’t mean anything so why don’t they tear shit up before checking out. If they still seem resilient, then hand them some nice wine and envy them because they’ve got a get out of jail free card. 

Also, it’s actually illegal to commit suicide in India. If you’re caught attempting suicide, you can get locked up for a year. Imagine living with the embarrassment of not only failing at killing yourself but also go to jail and get even more depressed. Damn. That seems kind of harsh. It’s like the government wants you to make sure that you do a good job at committing suicide. People who commit suicide are pretty lucky. They decide what meal they want to have before they die. Unless they’re starving already and that’s why they’re killing themselves in the first place. I should stop typing now. 

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