Me: You look like a very fascinating man.
Him: Thanks man. I’m actually your great great great grandfather.
Me: For real?
Me: But that’s not possible. You have a beard. I’ve never been able to grow one. If I was your descendant then you wouldn’t be able to grow one either.
Me: Also, you should be dead.
Him: I was actually adopted. And I live in your brain now. Because you watch a lot of porn. And there was no porn in my time.
Me: Hey man, that’s not cool.
Him: Fuck you! What you gonna do about it?
Me: I can’t really do anything.
Him: Hahaha, yeah. You can’t even grow a beard. Fucking Faggot.
Me: At least I’m not adopted.
Him: You shouldn’t speak to your elders like that.
Him: Hah, fucking loser! I fought the British!
Me: No, you didn’t.
Him: You can’t grow a beard.
Me: What’s your name?
Below is a file photo of Mr. Beardo.