Above is a file photo of Mr. Lick My Tooth. 

Him: Hey man!

Me: I told you I’m not going to lick your fucking tooth. Go away. 

Him: Yeah that’s fine. 

Me: So what do you want? 

Him: So I’ve been hearing some shit man. You’ve been going around this hood interviewing all these stupid assholes. Why don’t you interview me, man? 

Me: Okay fine. Tell me some thing about yourself…tell me about your beard. 

Him: I have worked long and hard on developing this unique beard of mine. It’s really pretty and oh so wonderful. I like that it only covers half my face. I believe in communism and hence I HAVE to pretend to be against the norm. Capitalists are assholes, man!

Me: Okay great. 

Him: Please lick my tooth? 

Me: Go fuck your self, commie prick. 

Him: Me sad. 😦