This, as you can tell, is part Nine of an ongoing short story. Please start reading from part one for context. Thank you.

“Yeah, keep walking, loser!” They’re still shouting. Just keep walking. I don’t want any trouble from these assholes. I love dogs. I guess I never knew what was going on inside of a dogs head. Now I know. I hate dogs. I wish teleportation was real. This night is way too long. I just want to be in my bed and pass out. Maybe smoke some pot and jerk off. Yeah. And then I’ll pass out into a deep sleep. If only I could reach home quickly. 

Man, that snake met a pretty nasty death. I kind of feel responsible for that. But I didn’t do anything, it was those asshole dogs. I need to get my mind off this. I really need a cigarette. This road is so well lit. Yellow lights are so much better than those traumatizing white ones. Feels much better to walk on this road. Hey, there’s an attractive girl standing there. I feel so lonely. She even has a cigarette box in her hand, maybe I can bum a smoke. I should look as non threatening as possible. I mean it’s the middle of the night and I look pretty disheveled. I hope that doesn’t throw her off. She’s really attractive though. That black dress looks great. “Excuse me, can I borrow a…”

She’s kissing me. What? Is this for real? Okay, I can’t let this happen. I’ve been tricked by one woman today. Not another one. Oh fuck, I have to ask her age. “Uhh…Thank you. But how old are you?” Yeah, keep it passive aggressive. “I’m 28”. Man, that’s hot. She’s so much older than me. “Are you asking because you think I’m the one tit lady?” How does she know about this? “What?” “Oh, you didn’t hear? There’s an underage girl roaming around the area molesting guys. I heard it on the radio in my car. Which is right there. We should have casual sex in the car. Don’t worry, I’m not diseased. Here’s my latest medical report.” Everything seems to be in order. There’s no one around. You know what? I need this. After all I’ve been through tonight, I deserve some fun. “Let’s go”.

“You’re great! Can I borrow a cigarette?” She really was great. And now I even have a cigarette. Life is perfect. This was some of the best sex I’ve ever had. It’s like she knew exactly what to do. Like she was designed for this. I should talk to her and ask her out formally. This car seems like it was designed for sex. I guess my disheveled look really works. She’s perfect. The butt could be better though. Nothing can go wrong now. She can drop me home in her car. I’ll call her upstairs and have some peaceful conversations. Life is great. Life really rewards you after a lot of shitty stuff. I’m glad I left the party so quickly.