Me: How old are you now?
Me: And since when have you been smoking cigarettes?
Her: Since ninth grade. My first cigarette was really memorable because that was also the day I lost my last tooth.
Me: Isn’t that a little late?
Her: For the first cigarette or the last tooth?
Me: For the last milk tooth.
Her: It is, but I don’t really care. In fact only two of my permanent teeth have grown till now.
Me: Is that annoying?
Her: Cigarettes are everything.
The two kiss for a while.
Me: That felt nice. Thank you. Can I take a picture of you for my readers? And you can give me a quote to go along with it too.
Below is a file photo of Ms. Hot Water.
Her: Hey! My name is Ms. Hot Water. I smoke lots of cigarettes. It’s not like it’s going to kill me today. At least I look cool while I’m alive. Look at you, living your lame smokeless life. Fuck you and your boring, cancer free lungs. I’m the hottest chick around.
Me: Thank you. It was really a pleasure meeting you.
Her: Please don’t call me again. You use too much tongue when you kiss. It girts my teeth.