Me: How old are you now? 

Her: 21

Me: And since when have you been smoking cigarettes? 

Her: Since ninth grade. My first cigarette was really memorable because that was also the day I lost my last tooth. 

Me: Isn’t that a little late? 

Her: For the first cigarette or the last tooth? 

Me: For the last milk tooth. 

Her: It is, but I don’t really care. In fact only two of my permanent teeth have grown till now. 

Me: Is that annoying? 

Her: Cigarettes are everything. 

Me: What? 

Her: What? 

The two kiss for a while. 

Me: That felt nice. Thank you. Can I take a picture of you for my readers? And you can give me a quote to go along with it too. 

Below is a file photo of Ms. Hot Water. 

Her: Hey! My name is Ms. Hot Water. I smoke lots of cigarettes. It’s not like it’s going to kill me today. At least I look cool while I’m alive. Look at you, living your lame smokeless life. Fuck you and your boring, cancer free lungs. I’m the hottest chick around. 

Me: Thank you. It was really a pleasure meeting you. 

Her: Please don’t call me again. You use too much tongue when you kiss. It girts my teeth.