Him: Hey man!

Me: Hey, how’s is going?

Him: Can’t complain. I’m pretty high right now.

Me: Ah man, I wish I was on drugs right now.

Him: Well, you shouldn’t do drugs. Cause drugs are bad.

Me: But you’re doing them.

Him: That’s cause I’m a bad person. But you aren’t.

Me: What makes you say that?

Him: Cause I’m a drug dealer who lives in your head. But you’re the guy, man. You can’t be messing around with this shit. If you die then I die. Fuck that! I’m not going to die on account of your junkie ass.

Me: Why are you Black? I’m brown by ethnicity.

Him: Hey! Hey, man! HEY! Don’t be creaming the fudge, man.

Me: What?


Me: I’m going to take a picture of you for my conscience memory. Would you like to say something to go with it?

Him: Fuck yeah, homes.


Him: I’m Lulu the dealer. That’s L-U-L-U, LULU. And I don’t deal drugs, I deal happiness.

Me: Right on, mah Nigga. You da real OG! Keep it real, mofo!

Him: Don’t try to be Black, man. It’s fucking pathetic.