This, as you can tell, is part seven of an ongoing short story. Please start reading from part one for context. Thank you.

I did a good thing by telling that hobo to fuck off. How can someone just come and tickle me without permission? I don’t understand these people. I guess I never will. People call me antisocial but fuck this shit. If being social means getting tickled by a hobo, I’d happily live alone. Such a horrible night. Party sucked balls. Got molested. Got harassed. At least I met a couple of dogs. That was nice. Gotta keep walking. 

I would have never gotten molested by a child if I would have just simply judged her. The one time in my life I did not judge someone and this happened. Fuck it. It’s not worth thinking about. How will I live with myself though? I have to live with the knowledge that…holy shit! FIVE DOGS. Oh and they’re running towards me. Should I be scared? Probably not, dogs are harmless. Oh they just wanted to smell me. That’s adorable. So much better than humans. Maybe I should adopt these dogs and take them to the apartment. I wonder if they’ll follow me. I should just keep walking and see if they do. Damn, they’re following me for real. This is amazing. 

“Come on, kids!” This is brilliant. I always wanted to have an army of dogs. They will always protect me against hobos, one tit ladies and snakes. Yeah, I bet no snake will mess with the dude with five fully grown canines. He better not. I wish that I had a sleigh. Like Santa. Then these dogs could carry me around everywhere. My feet wouldn’t pain anymore. I would even be able to travel home from a party instantly. But I guess cabs do the same thing. And this would just be cruel to the dogs. Never mind, bad idea. 

I wonder if leaving the party so soon was the right thing to do. I may even have gotten laid. Probably not laid but I suppose a couple more drinks wouldn’t hurt. Then again, if I wouldn’t have left earlier then I wouldn’t have met all these wonderful dogs. Either way, no point thinking about that now. What’s done is done. The house is getting closer now. Ah fuck, I can’t just go home and crash, I’ll have to put water and some food out for the dogs. I guess I didn’t think about that. But no, I’ve made my mind, I want to take these dogs home and care for them. Even if that means having a little inconvenience. I need to grow up. But also, I really hate responsibility. I don’t know if I can do this. 

Okay, another grassy area. I’ll have to be careful of snakes. But I have an army of dogs. I’ll be fine. Let’s just run through it. Hey, they’re running with me. Great! My feet hurt but there’s a special kind of joy in running with these marvelous creatures. Ah, whew. Done with the grassy area. Back on the hard and safe concrete. “Did you have fun boys?” Oh they’re wagging their tales. “Hssss”. HOLY SHIT! There’s a snake on the concrete. I guess that’s ironic because I thought there wouldn’t be snakes on the concrete. That’s definitely ironic. Man, I feel stupid. My dogs will protect me though.