Her: Haha, why are you staring at me? 

Me: I was just looking at your eyes. They are rather…attractrive. 

Her: haha, yeah they are. 

Me: uhh…hi!

Her: Haha, hi. Why are you carrying a camera around? That’s creepy. 

Me: I go around talking to interesting people who live in my head about their lives and make them spill out personal details about themselves. And I attach their photo with it. 

Her: Haha, you think I’m interesting? That’s SO great! 

Me: I guess so. Tell me about yourself while I take a picture. 

Below is a photo of Ms. Boobeyes. 

Her: Haha, hi! I’m Boobeyes. All the guys at school want to date me. I’m serious, they really do. But I’m not gonna let any of them bone me because I’m virtuous. Haha, love me, all of you. 

Me: Hey, so you’re still in school? How old are you? 

Her: Haha, I’m 18. School as in college. Words are so weird, no? 

Me: Yes, words are really weird. So you’re called Boobeyes? That’s a peculiar name. 

Her: Haha, yeah. So you see I was getting sick of having guys stare at my breasts so I got them implanted in my eyes so at least now they look at me respectfully. Men are disgusting. I had to restructure my body to be taken seriously. 

Me: Yeah, that’s true. Men suck. Can I have your number though? 

Her: Haha, I gotta go. Bye, creepy dude with a camera.