DISCLAIMER: The writer may or may not have been in a state of inebriation at the time of writing this post.

I really should be exercising. I’m supposed to be at the physical prime of my life according to my age but I’m not. I hate execising. More than anything else, I hate gyms. 

Let me explain, I live in Lokhandwala, Mumbai. Better known as the struggling actor capital of India. I was born here so I’ve seen mostly young buffed up people walking down the streets where I grew up. To be very honest, I’ve had a good laugh every time a beefed up looking guy walked down the street with a giant can of protein shake.

I’ve tried to go to different gyms at different points in time but I’ve never been successful. Something about the whole place feels a little off. I really don’t know what it is, but it just doesn’t seem like my jam. I’m not saying I’m better than them, clearly not, it’s just that I can never get myself to work out without laughing at the idea of it in the first place. Because when you think about it, not exercising is so much better than exercising from an objective stand point. 

I could be home listening to music, watching movies or even sleeping so why the fuck do I have to pay someone to make me take enormous amounts of effort? The answer, of course, is diabetes. But I know myself and how much of a piece of shit I am when it comes to laziness. I’ve really tried to make an effort when it comes to this but I doubt it’ll work out since the other choices are so much better. 

There are so many reasons for me to go to a gym and work out. It’s a great stress buster. It’s great for my health. I might just get rid of my moobs. I’ll be a fit person for once in my life but I’d rather write a fuck all blog post about it rather than actually working on getting myself in shape. That’s how much I hate going to the gym. 

So anyone who’s reading this knows the secret to motivating yourself to work out every day, please keep it to yourself and let me sleep in peace. Fuck gyms.